I know many of you have made New Year’s resolutions and one of those aspirations may be to get out of debt. Well, I’ve searched high and low, long and hard, North and South, East and West…anyway, the answer is here in this blog entry. If you take advantage of these two easy steps, you will be debt free in a matter of months. So here it is:

• Find a homeless person or two
• Sue them for a million dollars

I can’t help you beyond that, it’s up to you at that point to actually pay your bills off and not squander the money on booze and iTunes. This debt elimination plan comes to us courtesy of Michael Kemp, the owner of a ritzy NY antique shop that is suing three men and a woman for trying to keep warm from the heat that emanates from a vent on one of the city’s sidewalks – a vent that just so happens to be in front of his store. This is great because now the rich homeless people of the world can now pay for whatever circumstances that got us into debt as well as their own! I Love America! Don’t you?

In a related story, officials at the World Alliance of Clichés (WAC) have noted that it is now culturally acceptable to “kick a man when he’s down”.